NetSujit World

One thing that strikes me about depression recovery is how people can become invisible to themselves. They don’t matter, they don’t “count,” and they take themselves out of the picture before anything ever happens.

I know this both professionally and personally. Long time back, i actually fell into a depression mode bcoz of some uncertainities in my educational life. For myself, I know I just gave all I had to my parents when I was depressed. I gave what I could as a son and a friend. Not only did I think of them first, I just didn’t think about me hardly at all. I thought about my state of being and my misery, but I didn’t really think about ME as a whole significant human being.

During that time, I really needed support from my closed ones but instead, i was being more pressed down by my own people. Even during that time, i wasn’t feelin that I am getting pressed down. I was feeling like the people are really stressed and so they are removing their frustuation over me by insulting me. I was completely ignoring myself. Infact, as i said, I become invisible to myself.

After a while of living like this, I just kind of forgot about myself. I did what I needed to so I could be dressed appropriately for work, for bed, for getting out of the house to get groceries, and so on. I was pseudo-functional. But being functional and taking care of myself were completely different things.

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Two words. Six letters. So much potential for destruction. You say it to yourself and so do I, sometimes without even realizing it. Do you even realize how powerful it is?

If only I had more time, I would exercise. If only my parents weren’t so annoying, I’d be less stressed. If only I had a bigger house, then I’d be more organized. If only, if only, if only…You know, it isn’t just the “if only” part that is so damaging. By itself, it just a harmless wish or fantasy. It’s saying “then”, as if you only have permission to have this better outcome when the first part happens.

Let’s break this down once, shall we? Take the example about having a bigger house and being more organized. I threw this one in for me. I still live in a starter home my parents bought. It seemed huge back then. It was enjoyable 10 years back when i was a kid. It’s now quite small for all five of us and I find myself frustrated on a regular basis in this house. When i talk about 5 of us, i mean me, my parents, my bro and my sister in law. I don’t like my home now… may be bcoz of the hot climate, the un-interesting surrounding, lack of friends, or whatever. I don’t feel like being organized in this house. I think ‘if only i had a bigger and peaceful home, i would have been more organized’.

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As i had mentioned before, i started bloggin quite a long time back. But like everything else, after working upon something, i lose interest in it in a slow and steady manner. So was the case in my blogging habits.

I did blogged for quite a long time. But then as and when i became busy in my daily life, i stopped blogging, even though i had lots of things to speak on. Then i decided to start blogging again… but i needed something to push me to keep writing stuffs.

Psychology is one thing that has astonished me since i was in my school. It has always attracted me towards the subject in a better way. I thought i’ll share my knowledge of the subject here in the blog and it will also help me bring back to the blog regularly.

And then i created a new category in my site called ‘Philosophies n Psychologies’ and I m really excited to post new stuffs in it. Keep reading this category for more and more articles.