NetSujit World

It’s rather amazing that as children we look forward to the time when we grow up and can do anything we want, but then once we grow up and become loaded with responsibilities, and we look back to those carefree childhood days! Certainly we ‘miss’ out on some things as we make the transition to adulthood; by looking at how children see the world, we can certainly learn (or relearn) some things to introduce in our own lives….

Living in the moment (Carpe Diem)

As we grow older, our thoughts become increasingly focused on either the past or the future instead of the now; we seem to pick up the art of nursing grievances about things that happened and worrying about things that may never happen. But for a child, everything is unfolding in real time before his eyes; he has not yet learnt the art of being consumed by past or future. (more…)

Today I realized something that I wish I could have known long back. What I learned today is contrary to the well-known and the old saying, ‘everything is not fair in love and war’. According to me it’s not even anywhere near to be called ‘fair’.

Whenever people talk about love, they give ‘the idea of love’ so importance and weightage that anything done for love and in love is justified to be fair enough to balance the subject and the incident. Sleepless nights, empty stomach, leaving away your job, facing all kind of difficulties, everything is termed to be fair enough if its done for love or in love. This is the case especially for the youths and hearts of younger age.

But today something strange happened. I went to office…. and during the free time, suddenly the topic of love, marriage, etc came up.

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I probably don’t go a week without hearing some form of this complaint — life is unfair. It’s usually in the form of:

I can’t believe this happened to me! Why do bad things always seem to happen to me!?
Why shouldn’t I be treated like someone special?
Why does everyone else seem to succeed where all I can do is fail?
I didn’t make the team/get the job/get asked out on a second date/get any of the attention my other siblings got.

You see how it goes. On and on, we don’t run out of examples of where we believe we’ve been untreated unfairly in life. Here’s how I try and look at it though — life is a never-ending game of learning. When something bad happens to you (or when something good doesn’t happen to you), it may not just be something bad happening to you. It might be a chance to learn something new — about yourself, about the way the world works, about someone else’s feelings toward you.

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Life is too short to be spent
griping about the past,
things you don’t have,
places you haven’t seen,
things you haven’t done.

Life is too short to be spent
holding grievances against another,
finding fault in your brother,
counting the wrongs done on you.

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“If we had to say what writing is, we would have to define it essentially as an act of courage.”
~ Cynthia Ozick~

It’s a curse to have a thin skin. For a blogger and a writer, it is deadly. If you need to be liked by all the people all of the time, writing is impossible. Too often I find myself wrestling with my need to be liked and my need to write honestly.

In The Courage To Write, Ralph Keyes says, “If you’re not scared, you’re not writing.” Lately I’ve been scared to death, afraid of exposing too much of my private life and afraid of hurting people through my writing. The result has been a big fat case of writer’s block, not what Keyes had in mind.

To do a decent job of blogging you’ve got to take the risk to expose yourself. To be a good person at other hand, you give people hope by saying, “Yes, I’ve been there,” disclosing just enough of your story to connect with theirs, all the while keeping good boundaries. I’m a blogger and I want to be a good person too (honestly), so I try to do both, walking the tight rope without ever betraying my patients’ confidence or privacy.

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Recently I completed my undergraduate studies and enjoying my free time. For those of you who don’t know, let me tell you that I had real hard time completing my studies. Its not bcoz i dont study or am poor in my work and all. For some reason, I had a very bad luck in the phaze of life called “literacy”.  I won’t term it as ‘education’…. coz even in this bad luck i learned alot which will surely help in my future life.

After completing my higher secondary classes, i decided to follow my decision rather than my parents and my family’s. I left my hometown for higher studies and joined a elite university in a place where i never wanted to go. But i went there coz that was the only university which was offering my kind of course. Not to mention i made marvelous friends there and i was really really good in studies there. Infact, i even came 3rd in my college (national level) once. But time had its own decision. The Supreme Court ordered the university to shut down fr some lengthy reason i cannot mention here.

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We have five basic senses, eyes, smell, touch, hearing and taste. But people also speak of a “sense of humour”, “sense of self”, etc — there’s countless “senses” if i keep mentioning the list. And so i got a topic to write something new here on my blog. I wanna talk about ‘sense of humour’ today.

When you say that so-and-so person has a good sense of humour, what you actually mean is “Their sense of humour agrees with mine — they laugh at the things I find funny” and not that “he understands all the jokes of the world”. So in this respect a ‘GSOH’ isn’t so different from good eyesight — it’s a question of perceiving it right about things you think that is right. I hope you understanding my language.

But it isn’t just about perceiving. ‘GSOH’ could have plenty of other things implied with it– that the person can tell jokes as well as recognize them, that they have an appreciation of quality jokes, that they laugh frequently, that they’re optimistic, that they don’t take themselves or life too seriously, that they can be the centre of a joke without getting offended, and so on and on and on.

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